EXCITING TIMES! I have a remix contest on the go (see the image if you want to re-mix “The Wolf”) and am working on “Chersea and Friends Talent Show Fundraiser” for Project Limelight, a free performing arts group for children in the DTES, of which I’m currently (and have been for the past 2 years) the musical director and vocal coach. I love Limelight so much, and am thrilled to launch “The Chersea Limelight Scholarship”, which allows graduating Limelighters the opportunity to pursue the arts AFTER Limelight. See the images attached to this blog if you would like to participate in either, or make a donation. Every penny counts, and I can’t thank you enough for your involvement, because you’re helping to pave the way for future artists!….
This could easily be the most excited I’ve been in a long time. I’ve always loved music so much, and this is the pinnacle of everything I’ve done so far. All of my friends who have showcased so far have done absolutely amazing. Every show has been incredibly entertaining, and I’m just so proud of everyone because we’re all in this together, and these friendships I’ve made are going to last me a lifetime… and I can’t believe we’re reaching the finish line. It’s gone far too fast, and I’m tearing up while writing this.
My emotions are usually all over the map. A lot of people know that I’m bi-polar, and I have no issues with expressing this. It’s like a roller coaster, for your brain. I’m also rapid cycling, so it’s literally this emotional kinetic energy that kicks in at the most inopportune times. But it’s different this week. My confidence is strong, I feel healthy and have taken care of myself for this date. I have the support from my peers, from my role models, and from my friends and family. I’ve been feeling a little “high-strung”, but I’m also feeling “high-strong”…
Working through this disorder has always been a struggle. I was in and out of hospital for a period, trying to reconstruct my life and my behavioural patterns that were consequently indicative of adjusting to the new lifestyle: of being diagnosed. I was on a cocktail of medication, a variety of uppers and downers and mood stabilizers, and was even on Lithium (the scariest drug known to man-kind…. that’s a lie, but for me it changed my life). During this phase, I didn’t write any music. I was a girl and a guitar at this rate, and the inspiration was gone. The creativity was gone. The passion and the motivation were gone. It was literally the scariest time of my life. Something that I had been so committed to and so absolutely in love with my entire life had just vanished. Poof. Now I’m known to exaggerate, but I’m being serious. After a year and a bit, I eventually spoke to my doctor, and told him I was going off medications. That I wasn’t happy. That I wasn’t even considering living to be a gift anymore. That I was tired, and I was ready to sleep. Alarmed, he agreed and with consistent monitoring I slowly tapered off which would be my last few pills.
3 weeks later I began to write. I wrote a song called “Grey Matter”, expressing all of the details of the dreamscape in my head, while I was medicated. I followed this by “I Could Lose It All”, written for a close friend while trying to express that I could lose it all, I just would never want to “lose my head” ever again. I wrote another 8 songs (all of which were written in 2 weeks), and about three months later I met Cody Taylor (Fiend Recordings). We picked 6 songs, and in the span of 5 months, I had written an album, met one of my best friends (Cody), and recorded them (which eventually continued into the fall). Although all of this happened because I went off drugs, it truly happened because of music. The disconnect I felt between music and I, made me lose the lust for life.
Music has saved me, as it has saved many others. The reason why I’m going into personal detail, is because people have to know the power of music. It is the ONLY international language. It is the ONLY means to communicate certain emotions. It is the SOLE reason why I’m here, and I was made to create and to share this gift. It was created to express THE HUMAN CONDITION. The highs and the lows, the ebb and the flow, and as we come and as we go: we’re lucky that we can be saved, we’re lucky we can make such a glorious sound, and we are truly #blessed that at times of duress, and political, economical, and environmental hardship, that artists are given a voice – and that music provides the medium for self expression and unity.
Music will always bring us together.
And this Thursday, when I’m up on stage performing for you, all I want you to think about is how damn lucky you are that your ears work. That your eyes work. That we can share the moment. That something so beautiful as a sound wave is entering our ears, all at the same time. And together, we can celebrate the message, if only for 40 minutes.
I can’t wait to show you the future of CHERSEA. I can’t wait to show you my resilience, and the strength that has brought me here via my experiences. Everything happens for a reason, and sorry for preaching, but regardless of circumstance, regardless of what happens…
I’ve already won.